Two Years In: Still Standing, Still Wandering (The Extended Director’s Cut)

August 07, 2025 marked two years since I left my home in Mumbai for my masters. August 08, 2025 marked two years since I landed in the US to pursue my dream of studying and living abroad. This entire week, I have been reminiscing about the last 24 months of my life - going through my snapchat memories, the monthly instagram dumps, the blogs I’ve written, all of that. I came across the “one year recap” video I’d made back in 2024 but never posted because the background music was a very cheesy Taylor Swift mashup and I didn’t want people knowing that I’m a basic ass person. But watching the videos and reading through my own experiences, I couldn’t help but be in awe of (and be grateful for) all the major milestones or bucket list items that I have checked off in just 730 days:

"Someday, I'll be, living in a big ol' city"

• I lived in my dream city, in the heart of New York City, for 18 months, and I made it my home
• I graduated from my dream school, Columbia University, at just 23, with my favorite people walking with me and cheering for me
• I had Central Park as my backyard for 18 months — seen it all orange and red in fall, lined with blooming cherry blossoms in spring, and covered in snow in winter
• I’ve walked all the neighborhoods of New York solo at least once, coffee in one hand and my phone camera in the other
• I’ve walked on 5th Avenue more times than I’ve been to Marine Drive in 21 years of my life, through Times Square “just to run some errands,” and swayed along Manhattan streets in traditional Indian clothes with a puffer jacket, just like in Karan Johar movies
• I’ve been to the taping of The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon!
• I’ve seen the FRIENDS apartment and fountain countless times, and lived like the FRIENDS lived in New York in their 20s
• I’ve seen the Rockefeller Christmas Tree countless times, each time with a glint in my eyes
• I’ve been on top of the world (literally) when I saw the Empire State Building light up in blue from Top of the Rock
• I’ve been to the MET, MoMA, Guggenheim, Natural History, Whitney, and Cloisters — and seen the original Starry Night by Van Gogh, five years after trying to recreate it
• I’ve lived in New York with my parents for 10 days, in a room with the view of the Empire State Building
• I’ve been young, drunk, and full of dollar slices in New York
• I became an expert at navigating the New York City Subway

"Miss American Pie"

• I’ve seen a Broadway show, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade (twice), the West Village Halloween Parade (twice), and Christmas in New York (twice)
• I’ve seen the New Year’s Eve ball drop 
• I've seen the 4th of July fireworks from the comfort of MY rooftop
• I saw the Christmas Spectacular in Radio City Music Hall
• I’ve seen Hudson Yards lit up for Christmas and the holiday season

"Caught flights because couldn't catch feelings"

• I’ve flown to some of the best places alone — Hollywood, San Francisco, Washington DC — places I never even dreamed of visiting
• I’ve danced in front of the Golden Gate Bridge on Chunri Chunri, seen the “end of Route 66” sign at Santa Monica Pier, and visited Stanford’s campus to dream a few more dreams
• I’ve been to 2 of the 6 Starbucks Reserve Roasteries in the world, and to the first ever Starbucks store
• I’ve seen the New York City skyline from a cruise on the Hudson River, from an airplane while landing at JFK, and from within 20 feet of the Statue of Liberty
• I went on my first hike (Seattle, 4th of July) and my first “solo” hike in upstate New York — got lost, called 911, and lived to tell the story
• I’ve seen the most gorgeous tulip farms and had my DDLJ-esq pictures clicked

"Faked it till I (kind of) made it"

• I did an internship and landed my first job in a big tech company
• I got my parents to the States and showed them the life they helped me build
• I attended my first concert (Role Model) alone and learned that doing things alone doesn’t have to be sad, and my second concert (AR Rahman) with friends, scream-singing my heart out
• I bought my first iPhone, MacBook, AirPods, and Apple Watch — from the Apple store on 5th Ave
• I’ve surprised my parents by going home earlier than expected
• I’ve learned to cook and to love cooking for people, and successfully baked cakes and muffins after always burning them before

"did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion"

• I’ve walked across the Brooklyn Bridge singing Mitwa — on my 22nd birthday, which was also the first time I saw snow
• I’ve been to the Cheesecake Factory — thrice
• I’ve had Magnolia Bakery’s banana pudding on 6th Avenue in freezing cold with my chosen family (friends)
• I’ve rubbed the Charging Bull’s testicles on Wall Street
• I’ve discovered and come to love, love, love the concept of soup dumplings and ramen
• I’ve walked the ENTIRE length of Manhattan on a random Wednesday, just because I could
• I’ve seen all the places Taylor Swift sings about
• I’ve been in the background of one of Action Kid’s NYC walking videos
• I’ve seen my television screen come alive at Warner Brothers Studios
• I’ve seen Chef Vikas Khanna hoist the Indian Flag at Times Square on 15th August, within a week of arriving in New York

I know I know, it’s a very long list and truth be told, these are only the moments I successfully captured in my gallery. There were tons of other occasions where I was “living in the moment” and do not have a distinct memory of. Some of these are things I never even knew I wanted to do, or that I could ever do, but life surprised me. I still can not wrap my head around the fact that I’ve done all of this in just two years - it honestly feels like I’ve been here for at least five. And I’ve already lived in four different apartments while doing all of this. 

This blog, this list of 20000 things is more for me to look back at in the future, and less for you readers to enjoy. In fact, just yesterday, I was on a video call with my family when my brother made me realize that in 2025, I will have taken 20 flights. In 2024, I’d taken 7, in 2023 it was 6, and before 2023, it was 6 in total in 21 years. Life has been so fast paced these two years that I have barely had quite pauses where I just stopped and reflected, or took it all in. Today, August 09, 2025, or this weekend really, that is exactly what I’m doing - stop and reflect. I’ve travelled back to each of the above moments via my instagram stories archive. I’ve been so, so proud of myself for leaving my insecurities behind and capturing moments, getting my pictures clicked, clicking pictures of anything and everything that made me smile, laugh, admire, and cry even. 

Today, August 09, 2025, also happens to be Rakshabandhan. Well, because of the time difference between Seattle and India, it was yesterday post midnight for me. I was on a video call from 11 pm to nearly 3 am, and with each passing hour, I saw the living room of my home getting filled with my kin. One of the prominent topics of our talks was how it had been exactly two years since I left, and how this was the first Rakhi where I wasn’t home. I celebrated it a day before I left in 2023, and I travelled back after my internship in 2024 just in time for Rakhi as well. When the realization hit, I had already cut the call and was about to fall asleep. And I fell asleep as well.

When I woke up this morning, per usual, I opened instagram before getting up from bed. After visiting my own archives, I moved to stories. Everyone’s instagram stories had pictures of them celebrating Rakhi, or pictures of them with their siblings saying how much they miss them on Rakhi. FOMO activated. I moved from stories to reels, and surprise, surprise, all the reels on my feed today were edits of Bollywood and TV siblings to the song sang rakhna or phoolon ka taaron ka or jaane kyun. Reels of open mics where poets read their pieces on sibling relationships, all the brands having their rakhi themed ads circulating, and of course, meta’s reminder that this time a few years ago, you too were with your family celebrating Rakhi. 

One moment, I was smiling eye to eye going through the list of all the things I’ve experiences and accomplished, and the next, I had tears rolling down my eyes when I recalled all the things I’ve missed and have been missing. The foolish-blog-writer part of me was kinda excited because I write the best when i’m crying or when my emotions are at their peak. But the sane part of me genuinely felt a sting in my heart. I’ve missed birthdays, I’ve missed family get togethers, I’ve missed two Diwalis, I’ve missed two Holis, and I’ve missed being there for my loved ones in sickness. I’ll miss Ganesh Chaturthi this year, I’ll miss Diwali again, I’ll miss every birthday, and I’ll miss a few weddings too.

I left when I was 21 - a naive little girl who had never travelled alone or lived alone. I was scared and anxious but I was excited to experience the life of freedom and independence. I made that choice and I knew what sacrifices it came with. I’m 23 today, I have no regrets, and I’m forever grateful for this life. If you ask me “Will you ever go back and change your decision? Maybe stay back?” I’d say “No, not a chance” in a heartbeat. They say every choice comes with trade-offs — and I believe that’s true. You can cherish the good it brings while still feeling the weight of what it costs. 

I’ll leave you with that very poetic thought, and I hope I have another year filled with memories and learnings. Meet you, same time next year.

- Jahnavi